xi jinping

Jonathan Dodd: Princes and potentates

Jonathan Dodd‘s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed


I suppose there are people who see no irony in the idea of a Communist President being ferried down the normally-busy streets of London in a golden carriage accompanied by a smiling hereditary monarch. I certainly don’t, because I’m in a post-ironic state myself.

I’ve decided that the whole of so-called civilization is in a state of posts at the moment. Post-Modernist, Post-Cold-War, Post-Impressionist, Post-Post Office, Post-This and Post-That. Supply your own posts. I guess there’ll be a time to come in which we’ll be in a Post-Post-Whatever-It-Is era. But since we’re in the Post era, which is before the Post-Post era and after the Pre-Post era, we don’t know what that looks like until someone defines it for us.

Our attitudes change as we go through life
I don’t think the world changes that much from generation to generation. I think our attitudes change as we go through life, and we view it from different standpoints. Thus teenagers are full of anger and emotion because they’re growing up and in a hurry to get into the action. Parents of young children are naturally more concerned with local issues that concern the safety and security of the life they’re safeguarding for their children.

GWB Signing of H.R. 4 the Pension Protection Act of 2006.

And as we get older and watch our power wane, we become concerned that things are turning against us, and we feel ourselves sidelined. All this is true, of course, and natural, and obvious, when you look at it from a long perspective. I can recognize myself in that young man and that parent too.

The art of the possible
I remember once reading that ‘Politics is the art of the possible’. My most helpful friend Google has just informed me that it was written by Otto von Bismarck, the great nineteenth-century statesman who finally pulled together all the argumentative parts of Germany and united it into one country. He had a very forceful vision of what was actually possible.

Otto Von Bismarck

So here we are in a state of business-as-usual. Helena Handcart isn’t pushing everything we recognize towards a precipice any more than she ever has. The thing that was unthinkable a few years ago is now perfectly possible. I never thought we would entertain Chairman Mao Tse Tung, one of President Xi’s more memorable forebears, but at the time we were entertaining the Shah of Persia and various other rather unsavoury despots instead.

The warm fireside of our genial and safe world
There is an argument often made that we should welcome these powerful individuals into the warm fireside of our genial and safe world, so that they’ll discover the joys of behaving in a more civilized way. In England everyone knows his or her place and our ruling classes ride whatever wave of unrest like skillful surfers. Whatever else they do, our leaders keep the long view and hang on to their wealth and power with great tenacity. I can well imagine that a new kid on the block would want to have his photo taken alongside someone who can trace their position at the top back through their family for several hundred years.

British Royal family

There is also an argument frequently made for this sort of visit being a vehicle for trade and cross-cultural sharing. We sell stuff to them, they sell stuff to us, we become friends and exchange phone numbers. It’s all for the good. Sometimes it seems like less of a business and more like a garage sale, but the person selling often believes that their precious objects are worth far more than the person who might be buying.

Expecting them to be special except in their areas of brilliance
People also have what I regard as a fascinating and unwholesome need to worship at the feet of gilded human specimens. I never understood the need for teenage girls to become hysterical about members of boy bands, or young men to adore posters of footballers. I can see that some of these footballers have great skills, and some of the youthful singers are able to use their voices beautifully. I admire film directors and actors and authors myself, but it would be foolish to imagine that the brilliance of their work would necessarily shine through their character – if I was ever lucky enough to be in the same room.

Everything beautiful tattoo

I would hope that I would be able to approach the admired person, briefly explain my admiration for their work and thank them for their hard work and skill. If it went well enough and they invited me, I would ask them questions about how they motivate themselves, whether they know they’re doing good work or struggle with self-doubt, and any other questions that I could think of. I can’t see myself screaming or begging for selfies or drooling over what they were wearing, and I can’t imagine expecting them to be special except in their areas of brilliance.

Unspeakable acts in the pursuit of power
I don’t know how I would react in the presence of people who were able to commit unspeakable acts in the pursuit of power, and I can’t imagine liking or wanting to be with people whose only skill is to gain power or riches, and not care about the consequences of the lies and betrayals they make in order to get there. I also am not sure whether I would want to meet people whose only reason for being in their position is because they inherited the title or the power.

Ryan Seacrest and the Dictator

But let’s face it, I’ve often been told that I’m a grizzled cynical person who’s jealous of the success of others and unappreciative of the good works doled out by the rich. I’m unmoved by the whole idea of celebrity culture. I don’t understand why we have to have a hereditary head of state, and I’ve heard the one about how nice the incumbent is and how lucky we are to have her. I don’t usually respond by asking if the person would be such a monarchist if the monarch was badly-behaved because I know the answer.

They either do their job well or not
All I ask for here is for people to stop confusing the bright lights that are shone on these people with whatever character they might have. A head of state is a head of state. They either do their job well or not. I don’t think it’s an advantage to the country for them to inherit the job, in fact I think it’s bad for us, because they have no idea of the real world and they already have a vision of life that’s skewed by all their privileges and advantages.

Some of the many people lining the Mall the day before the wedding.

I also have a problem with all those people out there who worship the privileged ground that these gilded people walk on. I’m not sure what the reason is for standing for hours to catch a glimpse of someone in a carriage, waving a flag. I don’t get the connection. I wonder about all these hospitals and bridges and ships that are named after princesses and queens.

Naming the hospital
What I think about at these times is this. Did they pay for the hospital to be built? No. Did they work in the hospital and save many lives? No. Did they actually build the hospital with their own hands? No. Did they struggle to get the hospital built in the first place? No. Were they even treated in the hospital for some unspecified illness? No. Did they live in the area or have any meaningful connection with it? No.

Princess Margaret Hospital

Were they driven through the area in a day filled with various appointments and did they pull a string that unveiled a plaque and have their picture taken before they moved on to the next thing? Yes. So how does that equate with naming the hospital after them?

This is how things work
People tell me it’s a little thing, and not worth getting upset about. They don’t think it has any connection for instance with a businessman who gave a lot of money to the Conservative Party and was made Deputy Chairman, despite being a tax exile with all his money in the Turks and Caicos Islands. It is rumoured that he became so upset about not becoming a minister that he published a book containing unpleasant allegations about the past life of the current Prime Minister.

Lord Ashcroft

It seems that he was miffed because he believed he was progressing up the ladder and was cut out of the deal. This is how things work, especially in this country. It’s all part of the same thing. President Xi knows that. It seems that most of us don’t, or we choose to pretend otherwise. I just happen not to like it very much.

If you have been, thanks for reading this.


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