Anti-Turbine Protestors Celebrate Again

Update: This article published before midday on 1st April was an April Fool.


The village of Wellow was celebrating today (Sunday) after being awarded the prestigious honour of hosting a brand new, state-of-the-art nuclear waste storage facility.

Nuclear power station:Following an intense final round of bidding, Wellow’s application was judged the most impressive by a government-appointed panel of judges.

Anti-wind turbine protestors were delighted by the move, which will see up to 1,200 tonnes of highly radioactive material buried beneath the picturesque West Wight hamlet.

“We’re not Nimbys”
“We’ve always said we’re not Nimbys,” confirmed a grinning spokesman, “we just knew that wind turbines were not going to bring any benefit to the area.

“Everyone has to play their part in managing our energy options for the future though, and we welcome the opportunity to look after this dangerous material for the next ten thousand years with absolutely no impact on the view from my kitchen window.”

Huge boom in tourism expected
Work on the storage facility is expected to start shortly, with numerous spin-off benefits for the local community and economy.

“It’s a win/win situation” confirmed a spokesman for the successful bidding team, “we get to contribute to the Island and Britain’s energy security, and we’re expecting a huge boom in tourism in the area too.”

Also: see Wellow in landfill row.

Image: Mostly Dan under CC BY 2.0

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