This week I want to discuss a subject that has long been a favourite of mine. Boobies. Or, if I may be so bold, women’s breasts
I’m prompted to do this by two TV programmes. One portraying a bunch of people who apparently believe that most, if not all the woes of the world, would dissipate if only everyone would wander around in their birthday suits. And the other The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE), wherein womens’ chest appendages seemed at times to carry the leading role.
Camera tracked the beauty
In the bare-all-for-bliss documentary, the eager photographers quite rightly strove to ignore the many grossly fat gutted and strangely conceited males – (who should by moral imperative be forced to wear nothing less than a two-man tent) – in favour of a comely young maiden who was ever ready to strip on demand, wherever and whenever.
And quite rightly, in my opinion. For she was – is – a delight to the male eye: the sort of young lady I, for one among a multitude, would have been proud to have as a girl friend if only I was a half century of more younger.
Except perhaps for that disconcerting tendency to reveal all every time I introduced her to a mate.
“My boobs are too small”
But – and here I begin to stray into the realm of my imagination – I think she may have added, if pressed ‘there’s nothing particularly sexy about my figure anyway. For a start my boobs are too small.’
And if she doesn’t think that, I’m sure many other young ladies of similar proportions do.
Just like the ladies of TOWIE, who plainly believe the only way to true feminine beauty is to pack as much plastic squiggy onto their chests as it’s possible to carry, without falling over.
Do men really desire massive mammaries?
They are persuaded in to this belief of course both by the lads’ mags that specialise in the portrayal of massive mammaries, and the donkey haw-hawing of drunks at strip shows.
And I’m sure they are wrong, wrong, wrong.
Take the average man away from his conventionally braying mates and I think he’ll quietly admit to a strong preference for pretty, lithe, perfectly balanced Miss Unashamed. And that boobs like that would suit him very well indeed.
There are some unfortunate flat chested who can benefit from implants. But they are the exception. For everyone else the message is surely – ladies leave well alone. Only the saddest of males need plastic substitutes.
Image: Big Richard C under CC BY 2.0
