I don’t understand rap.
Being an old codger a bit too near the exit to be altogether comfortable, I expect, to find things in the modern world a bit confusing.
But in fact I find myself quite gratifyingly in tune. I see nothing in the way the young conduct themselves that make me uneasy or fear for the future of the planet.
Except for the phenomenon known as rap.
There are some exceptions
I don’t mean the sort of performance put out by the likes of the Black Eye Peas or Scissor Sisters. They present us with what I think of as street opera, a mix of sight and sound that pleases the senses. Mine at any rate. (And I’m willing to forgive Fergie just about everything.)
No, I refer to the format to which modern day tracks conform, where the usual display of scantily clad females with six foot legs cavorting and singing in the good old vaudeville tradition, are abruptly supplanted by a black bloke in a suit and sunglasses. Who proceeds to emit an unintelligible stream of gabble and gibberish which, as far as I can see, has nothing whatever, in sense or rhythm, to do with the rest of the record, (sorry – track -sorry- download).
The nearest counterpart is when you are watching a documentary and it is stopped in the middle and replaced by a range of totally uninteresting adverts. Trouble is, of course, the rap interruption isn’t long enough for you to go and put the kettle on.
All is not lost
There may be some hope however. Just recently I’ve noticed a variation.
On a track where the lead lass kept on about ‘all night long’ the
rapper confined himself to leaping up at intervals and yelling
something quite brief at the camera.
As well as meaningful, obviously.
Phrases such as ‘champagne popping’, ‘knicker dropping’, ‘socks are sopping’, ‘mine is whopping’, ‘tree branch lopping’, and so on. (On reflection I may have made some of that up. It comes quite naturally if you switch your brain off)
Think I’ll have a go
So, what’s it all about? Why is the black bloke wearing sunglasses at night? Is it done to demonstrate his intelligence level? Or does he hope to be mistaken for an American? Stevie Wonder perhaps?
And can I have a go? How much does it pay? (Dancers bopping, tree frogs hopping, housemaids mopping, farmers cropping, ice cream topping, …….)
