I’ve got an HD ready television. It’s got all the right dillmans and pokolocs plugged in the right way round, yet I can’t get HD programmes on it.
The screen doesn’t even flicker when I try.
And I think I’ve found out the reason.
A Dutch research team recently sat a group of punters down to watch a telly show on an ‘ordinary’ TV set. Then they took them into another room and told them to watch the same programme in High Def. and say if they could see any difference.
To a man and woman they said they could. Quite definitely. Much clearer, they said. Much more colourful. Much better defined.
As you’ve no doubt guessed, knowing the cunning ways of researchers, both sets were identical. There was no High Def. on either.
So I have to wonder – does High Def really exist? Or are we being duped by high pressure salesmanship?
Just like the claim that a Colgate smile has a gravitational effect on ladies underpinnings. That doesn’t work either.
At least, it never has for me.
At the turn of the year I went into a shop to buy a calender. I found the place where the dairies diaries and calenders were located but couldn’t see any hanging-up sort, which was what I wanted.
I went to the counter and told the assistant I couldn’t find the calenders. She pointed at the corner I’d just left. I looked and saw an array of hanging-up calenders in full view. I still couldn’t see any cheap ones but I was too embarrassed to ask again so I bought one costing three times as much as I wanted to pay.
I went to a stationers to buy some green paper. I found the display of coloured papers but couldn’t see any green. I went to the counter and told the assistant. She patiently led me to the rack I had just left and pointed out the green paper pile.
I’ve put the sheets I bought on top of the bookcase until I can remember why I want them.
I don’t like going into a Chemist shop because I know the row upon row of pastel coloured boxes and tubes will ensure I will never find what I want without queuing up to ask and getting that patient ‘poor old bugger’ smile.
Yesterday I couldn’t get the screw-top stopper back onto a plastic bottle. After a deal of cursing I finally managed it. Then I threw the empty bottle in the trash.
I think I remember being young once. Or is my memory letting me down?
I spotted an advert on my home page inviting me to tap in my phone make and get an instant valuation. It promised I could conceivably receive up to £150. So I did.
£1.29
Do you think a museum might be interested?
