Jonathan Dodd’s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed
OK. It’s going to be a bit of a struggle, but this week I’m determined not to use the B word, or the T word. It seems like months have passed since the last lifetime ended, and the new one hasn’t really started yet. I have no idea when it’ll all become clear, when the dust settles and all those things still up in the air finally come to ground.
I usually like these times of change and uncertainty. But I like my uncertainty to be doled out in small chunks, with different-coloured labels and fairly well-understood outcomes. Like a game of Monopoly, the rules are everything, and the dice represent the cruelty of fate. Unless you win, of course, in which case it’s all down to your acute business acumen.
An element of fantasy and the possibility of wish-fulfilment
Games are often used as metaphors for life, but I’ve never understood that. Unless your life is literally bound up in two opposing groups vying for power or influence or victory in battle. Perhaps that’s why our politicians behave so badly. And seem so out of touch with any life that everyone else has to get on with.
I suppose there has to be an element of fantasy and the possibility of wish-fulfilment in games. I can’t imagine that a game about dropping the kids off at school, rushing round Tesco on a strict budget and keeping up with the washing and ironing on not enough sleep would be particularly popular.
More time on your hands than you can fill
One of the words we use for ‘game’ is ‘pastime’, which means exactly that. Something to do when you have more time on your hands than you can fill. All those games of Patience, originally played with actual cards on a flat surface, and now available on any device with a screen, were just a way of using up those great swathes of spare time between lunch and tea on a wet winter Sunday afternoon.
Imagine that. Spare time. I don’t know anybody who has such time to spare. Although I suspect that most of these people do indulge in this kind of activity from time to time. I think that we feel a bit guilty about not doing anything, even for a moment or two, so we find a meaningless activity that fills it. Or maybe our lives are so full that we’ve forgotten how to stop, and switch off.
Ladders and Ladders, without any Snakes
Sometimes our concept of ‘playing the game’ can become a little disproportionate. As in all those greedy bankers or that man who used to own BHS, whose sole interest in life seems to have been amassing money, preferably more than anyone else. These people just make up their own versions of this game, and tend to ignore the idea of rules with no consequences for any damage caused to others on the way. Like Ladders and Ladders, without any Snakes. Where’s the fun in that?
You can make up your own game and your own rules, but there are those whose aim is to win whilst breaking the rules, hoping to get away with it. Thus some athletes, even at the Olympic level, decide to take performance-enhancing drugs and thus risk being discovered and shamed. For them it’s not about being better than the opposition, just finding a way to get past the finishing line first.
To perform as well as you possibly can
I don’t know how these people can justify it to themselves, especially when their so-called achievements are celebrated, because it’s always based on a lie that they have to keep up for the whole of the rest of their lives, along with the constant fear of being exposed. It must be hellish, and surely not worth all that effort in the long run. But still they do it., because they forget the purpose of their sports, which is to perform as well as you possibly can, whilst obviously hoping to win, rather than just coming first.
I sometimes think there should be separate competitions within sport, for those who do it naturally and then everyone else who are interested in pushing the boundaries as far as possible. I’ve seen pictures of extreme body-builders, who proudly show themselves off and make no bones about the lengths they will go to in the sole interest of having the hugest mass of muscle imaginable. I don’t see why they shouldn’t do that, as long as they don’t try to pretend it’s all natural.
There will always be cheats
I suppose there will always be cheats, and there’s something in the act of cheating that is worryingly exciting, all to do with the idea of bucking the system and the fear of being discovered. But I can’t understand why anybody should spend all that time and trouble doing something that’s so obviously hollow and poisonous. But then I never could understand politicians who will do or say anything at all, just to get to the top of their own particular greasy pole.
I’ve often been called naive about things like this. In my own small way, I’m proud of the label, because it means, hopefully, that I’m on the side of the good guys, and wouldn’t behave in that way myself. Those who call me naive always throw hypotheticals at me. Such as those countries where children with talent are placed in special schools where they are trained and possibly altered chemically, just to grant false glory to the regime.
Excelling at something that has no use or reward
There is also a lot of pressure placed on high-achievers. The margin between winner and runner-up is so tiny, and the rewards so different, that anyone in that position must be tempted occasionally. I applaud all athletes or participants in any field of human endeavour, who strive within the rules that they sign up for, to shine and become the best they possible can be, which is obviously much more important that coming first.
When I was much younger. I discovered that I’m not particularly good at any one thing, nor did I have the drive to select and dedicate myself to any particular field. I don’t feel bad about this, and I’m happy that I’ve been able to spread myself widely rather than deeply, but narrowly. And sometimes you find yourself excelling at something that has no use or reward, apart from itself.
You don’t necessarily have to put down what you said you did
I’ve just remembered a game at which I have excelled. It’s a card game my family used to play, called Cheat. It may be well-known, although I’ve never met people who are familiar with it. It’s rather simple, and you can only do well if you have the right skills. Basically, you take two packs of cards and deal them out to a tableful of people. All you have to do is get rid of all your cards. You do this by placing cards face down on the pile when it’s your turn. These cards have to be the same number as the last player, or one above or one below, with the ace closing the circle rather than being top or bottom.
Lots of jokers help here too. When you put cards down, you have to say what they are. But you don’t necessarily have to put down what you said you did. Thus “Eight Queens” could be anything at all. The problem for everyone else is that if they don’t believe you they have to shout out “Cheat!” They have to pick up the whole pile If they’re wrong, when the cards are examined. If they’re right, you have to pick everything up.
Much rowdier than Monopoly
Playing this is much rowdier than Monopoly, for instance. Children love it, although generally their mothers discourage them, because they disapprove of the life-skills you acquire when you become a good Cheat player. Occasionally people object to it on moral grounds, or even religious principles. The only thing my middle brother and I ever had in common was that we were both brilliant at this game. It’s such a shame there’s no fame and glory involved.
If you have talents that aren’t recognised or can’t be fitted into some kind of structure, I sympathise with you but I hope you can find a way to enjoy these skills nonetheless. And it isn’t fair. Let’s face it, even gurning is a recognised event.
If you have been, thank you for reading this.
Image: Public Domain
Image: glenj under CC BY 2.0
Image: sskennel under CC BY 2.0
Image: gosheshe under CC BY 2.0
Image: localfitness.com.au under CC BY 2.0
Image: Bjarte Hetland under CC BY 2.0
Image: stevendepolo under CC BY 2.0
Image: funfilledgeorgie under CC BY 2.0
Image: jonathanrolande under CC BY 2.0
