Jonathan Dodd: A universal fact or fantasy filter

Jonathan Dodd’s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed

Is the world any worse than it ever was? I don’t actually know. I’m certainly not going to pronounce in grand fashion either that we’re living in a golden age or that everything is going to our dear Helena Handcart. I understand the difference between facts and things I’d like to happen. I just wish we had some sort of universal fact or fantasy filter.

For instance, take an example of what I call a ‘Trumpism’. Something like – “On the day I walk into the White House, all violence and crime will disappear from the streets”. Just imagine how lovely that would be. The sun would come up, and all those guns would turn into pencils, and all the people who previously committed or plotted violence would walk hand-in-hand down the streets with happy smiles on their faces. And they’d be singing.

Apart from the Second Coming possibly
I’d like that, I really would. I’d vote for anyone who could really do that. But does anyone in their real mind anywhere really think there’s a way for that to happen? How would he do it? Has he explained or elaborated on that? Is there any possible scenario you can imagine for that to happen? Apart from the Second Coming possibly. No, and no again, by any measure, it’s a stupid thing to say.

flash mob dance

So how come loads of people erupted in cheers, and nobody asked how, and his approval ratings went up? What was the good thing about saying that idiotic soundbyte? How is it possible for him to have got so far while walking on such shaky ground? I actually know why. It’s because people want violence and crime to disappear from the streets. Let’s face it, who wouldn’t? Sadly, at the same time, a large number of people seem to lack the ability or the willingness to work out what is true and what is fantasy.

This is not only true, but it’s measurable
The truth is plain. There is crime and violence on the streets. There always has been. It occurs more on some streets than others, of course, and house prices are a good indicator of that. This is not only true, but it’s measurable. Most people want to feel safe and believe that the government and the police are making our streets safe for us. And in general they are. This is also measurable. All this is true.

austin police car

The thing we confuse so often is the difference between what we would like and what is possible. I knew someone once who was completely normal in every respect, except that he was obsessed with the mistake of the Liverpool manager in not choosing him every week to captain the team. This is a small thing, and it’s a matter of degree. Everyone has fantasies, and mostly we understand that they are fantasies.

I’m exaggerating a little, of course
Sometimes, though, these fantasies take root in us in a way that might not be healthy. This man was unable to have a conversation about it, to the point of shouting at anyone who disagreed with his judgement on the matter. On Monday mornings everyone had to check their football results to find out what sort of day we would all have in the office. It came to dominate areas of his and our lives that were completely ridiculous.

famous five football managers

There was no way we could win. If Liverpool lost he would be desolated, and blame the manager for not picking him. At the same time he would be elated, because this mistake proved him right. If they won, he would be distraught, because someone else had stolen the glory that should have been his. I’m exaggerating a little, of course, but it serves as an illustration of the difficulties we can get ourselves into when we forget that our fantasy lives should be enjoyed, rather than being allowed to take over.

Of course, nobody actually said exactly that
In this context it seems to me that rather too many humans do exactly this, and they lose their judgement and discrimination. They forget that someone in a suit saying something on a stage doesn’t make it real. Or true. Like saying that £350,000,000 per week would immediately go to the NHS if we left Europe. Of course, nobody actually said exactly that, but people would have been delighted if that had happened, because in this country we all believe passionately in the NHS.

olympic opening ceremony

The thing is that nobody stood up and explained that it was a made-up number and the NHS would have to queue up for whatever crumbs were left from the real pot of money after it was all allocated, which could also be years later. It shouldn’t have been necessary to explain that, of course, because it was a stupid thing to say, or believe, or print in newspaper headlines, or emblazon in posters everywhere, because anyone who heard or saw it should have laughed, because of its stupidity.

It’s going to happen, because someone said it would
I don’t criticise the wishes of so many people for lots of extra NHS money, because I share that desire with everyone else. But I do force a sigh out sometimes, because I wish people wouldn’t yearn so much for things that they persuade themselves that it’s going to happen, just because someone said it would. Provided that you vote for them. Or buy their products, or join their army, or their religion.

follow-me-graffiti

All this flies in the face of observable and measurable activity. Can anyone name a single example of a so-called ‘quick fix’ that actually fixed anything? I’d almost go so far as to say that a quick fix invariably makes things worse. How many wars were actually ‘all over by Christmas’? But they’re beguiling little creatures, these quick fixes, and we fall for them every time. Partly because we want the problem to be sorted out so much, but mainly because we always choose to go for the quick fix because of what it promises, and it’s easier than thinking.

This might be an imperfect analogy
In the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy there is much wisdom and a lot of laughter. There’s a moment when Ford Prefect, the visitor from Betelgeuse, tries to explain the problem he had with humans constantly talking and talking. “If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.” Thank you Douglas Adams.

hitch hikers guide to the galaxy

I know that all human beings aren’t like that, and this might be an imperfect analogy. But I do know that all the worthwhile things we have done or created or changed as individuals or as a race have been at great cost or despite huge opposition. And they’ve all been accompanied by a great deal of thought and inner struggle.

This is, after all, what our brains are for
I know that most people aren’t involved in this kind of activity, and that’s fine. I just wish that the people in positions of power or influence were more interested in the advancement of the human race in general, and the health of the planet, than in their own advancement or enrichment. And yes, I do know that there are many wonderful individuals who are engaged in exactly that, but they aren’t generally running newspapers or political parties.

ebola-doctors

I know that a magic wand would be handy to sort all this out, but it’s up to every one of us if we want things to change. We each, constantly, need to be using our brains to question and challenge those things we’re told about ourselves and our world, and we need to struggle with the issues, rather than just jumping on the gaudiest bandwagon and the most extravagant promises. This is, after all, what our brains are for.

We’re clever enough to realise this
It’s easy to spot the difference between fact and fantasy. My ex-colleague used to drink and smoke a lot, which would have prevented him from playing for Liverpool even if he had been a talented player. Trump never explains how he’s going to achieve any of his grand statements. Immigrants aren’t going to disappear from our streets the day after the Brexit vote. We’re clever enough to realise this. We should be clever enough not to make the same mistakes. Over and over again.

hieronymus bosch