Jonathan Dodd‘s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed
I’ve been struggling with a quiz. I’ve never been one to go to quiz nights, probably because I don’t have any friends. Or maybe because I don’t do a lot of pub-going. I had a friend once. Whenever you asked him where somewhere was, he would say – ‘You go down the road where the Bull is, then turn left at the Horse and Hounds, go straight on until you get to the Barge, turn right at the Dragon, and it’s on your left.’
I guess if there had been a quiz about the local pubs he would have won hands-down. The other thing about him was that he knew several people in any pub I went into with him. And even if he didn’t, he had certainly made lots of friends by the time we left, me after half a pint and lots of orange juice and him several pints the sloshier.
I don’t care if it’s true or not, I like the story
Anyway, those reputed two gentlemen in Dublin who created the quiz have a lot to answer for. The story I heard was that they were having an argument about language and how we learn words. That’s the sort of discussion I like in pubs, which is probably why I have no friends.
Apparently one of them bet that he could introduce a new word into the language overnight, and he won because he made up the word ‘quiz’ and painted it on all the walls in Dublin overnight. In the morning everyone started talking about what a quiz was, and he won his bet. I don’t care if it’s true or not, I like the story.
A shameless plug if there ever was one
The quiz I’m struggling with is the one I do at Ryde Library twice a year. The next one’s on Friday 25th October. There’s a shameless plug if there ever was one, and I wouldn’t blame Sally if she removed these two sentences (Never! Ed). I always find making up the questions much more satisfying, because not knowing all the answers causes me so much pain and frustration that I now prefer being on the giving end rather than the receiving one.
Mind you, running quizzes can be dangerous. The film critic Mark Kermode was permanently scarred by a quizmaster once. Mentally scarred, not actually wounded, you understand, but to hear him tell the story you would have thought otherwise.
Actual Lion Kings
The question was – ‘What was the name of the Lion King?’ Mr Kermode put his hand up and asked – ‘Which one?’ – a perfectly reasonable question, because there were three actual Lion Kings in the story and the film. Check it out if you don’t believe me. This particular quiz master apparently didn’t like the question and refused to take it seriously, thus causing an altercation.
The moral of this story, I think, is that you have to be very well-prepared if you’re going to run a quiz, and you have to know that your answers are correct, or word them in such a way as to avoid the difficult questions and arguments.
They’ll scrabble and fight in the dirt
People who go to quizzes are highly competitive and take them very seriously. Even if there are no prizes they’ll scrabble and fight in the dirt for any small advantage or extra points. I know, because that’s what I do too. I know that being good at quizzes doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be good at anything else, and it’s not going to get you the friends you crave.
But there’s something about the emotional intensity and the rage if you lose, as opposed to the triumph when you win, that is irresistible.
So if I ask a question about the origin of the word ‘quiz’, I’d better do some research.
If you have been, thank you for reading this.
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