Jonathan Dodd‘s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed
Things change. They change all the time. And we change too. All the time. I meet people sometimes who swear blind that nobody changes. To this my usual reply is – “So you’re exactly the same as you were when you were three years old then?”
I think this is topic obviously requires a certain amount of leeway in the meaning that people give to words that are inadequate to describe what they really mean. This is where communication takes on its elasticity and sometimes downright cussedness.
Like a clock face
I used to get annoyed about this, but nowadays I realise that you need to take into account the position people are standing in when the say the words. It’s like the endless argument about films of books.
I got round this problem for myself by thinking about a story as the centre of a circle, like a clock face. When you read the book, it’s like you approach the story from 12 o’clock. When you watch the film of the book you’ll be approaching it from 6 o’clock, so it’s bound to be a different experience.
Someone who enjoys or dislikes the film or the book might approach it from 3 o’clock or 9 o’clock. It’s the same story, just different versions and viewpoints and attitudes.
Extreme laughter and horror
I was reminded of this (in the usual circuitous way) the other day when my 22-year-old stepson who lives with us first saw my new slippers. I was astonished to see a mixture of extreme laughter and horror on his face.
“Whatever is the matter?” I asked him. He pointed at my new slippers and said – “What are those things on your feet?”
This puzzled me, because from my viewpoint the answer to this was obvious.
“They’re my new slippers, of course.” I thought I should humour him.
“But they’re girl’s shoes!”
A strapping Scandinavian couple
OK. Admittedly my new slippers look a bit like those Ugg boots, but that never occurred to me when I was scrolling through eBay.
There was a picture of a strapping Scandinavian couple, both wearing these slippers and radiating warmth and comfort. There were sizes for men and women.
They warned against wearing the slippers outside because of the thinness of the soles. They were definitely slippers, and they were definitely for men, as well as women.
I love my new slippers. They were very cheap and they do exactly what I want them to, which is to keep my feet warm outside as well as inside. All my life I have been told I have cold feet, which has always seemed odd because I have never felt that my feet were cold.
They felt quite warm to me, but were cold to the touch of anyone else, especially in bed. I bought the slippers to help remedy that. And they do the job very nicely.
Rabid bears
It’s obvious to me now that my stepson would rather be dragged through the streets by rabid bears than imagine wearing slippers that resemble in a passing way any shoes that girls might wear.
He’s offered to buy me a dress to go with them. I have suggested that he shouldn’t because he’d be bound to get the wrong size.
After I became incensed at his attitude I realised that I used to be exactly like that when I was his age. So when did I change? Did it happen overnight, or was it so gradual that I never noticed? Was it so gradual that I forgot how I used to be?
So I started to re-run the story of my life from lots of different viewpoints, and it comes out different every time.
If you have been, thank you for reading this.
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