We’re honoured that one of our American cousins, who visited our beloved town last year, has forwarded some ideas for regenerating Ventnor. His plans are split into three stages, with the first stage one below. Ed
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is J. Thompson Wartenburg 3rd and I hail from Tampa Florida. I visited your little town last summer and had a delightful stay at the small but quaint Royal Hotel. I had to rent the entire upper floor as my wife needs a lot of wardrobes.
Well, just browsing your delightful little web-site the other night, I came across your attempt to improve the town with a five year plan.
You folks were so friendly when we visited, that in return I would like to give you some free advice on how to put Ventnor on the map and bring in the business – and as a leading Florida developer I know what I’m talking about! But we need to talk RADICAL here!
My plan consists of three stages….
STAGE ONE
Ventnor’s location is stunning and the meandering cliff and esplanade walks are truly awesome, but let’s be honest guys, the town centre is ….err…..crummy.
My solution? Bulldoze flat the entire centre of town from High Street down to the sea-front. This would give a huge flat area facing the open sea. Prime development land if ever I saw it, let me at it!
A new gated building development of approximately 850 holiday apartments and houses would be built by my newly formed company (JTW-MAXI-PROFIT LTD).
Now forgive me here ‘cos I’m not an expert on planning on this cute little Island of yours. If you want to proceed with my plan I would probably employ your Mr Jennings to work out the finer planning points, he seems to know his way around. I like the cut of his Jib. Why are you guys so hard on him? He’s just trying to make a decent living.
On the planning side could somebody from the council confirm to my UK Lawyers that the 850 apartments and houses would go through on delegated powers – time is money in my business and I wouldn’t want any holdups with time-wasting members of the public objecting to my plans.
Folks we have an image problem here, namely Ventnor, too old and dreary – like a lot of it’s citizens, we need a new “sharp/fun” brand – “Los Ventos” – coined up the name last night when I was soaking in my oversize solid gold bath. Has a nice ring to it, sort of Las Vegasy”
My marketing boys have already come up with a catchy title, how about this, “Los Ventnos Botanic Holiday Village – your green paradise by the Sea”. O.K. so the village is not in the Botanic gardens but the marketing boys can work something out..
The apartments would start at £350k for a one bed studio-flat and go up to the four bedroom four bathroom penthouse suite at £4.5million (The Russell Brand Suite.)
The apartments would be built around a central swimming pool/garden and there would be a Tesco for groceries, a discount shopping mall, plus numerous restaurants, MacDonalds, Burger-king, KFC, Pizza a GoGo plus 27 estate agents and an ice cream shop.
Obviously as all the shops in the “old” town will have been demolished we have to consider the people who were living in Ventnor before “LosVentos” was built, so we will give every permanent resident a free special commemorative map showing them how to get to the shops in Shanklin.
In addition a tunnel with escalators would lead underground to the esplanade so that apartment owners would not have to walk up or down hills. Numerous American university studies have consistently shown that walking is bad for your health.
The Esplanade? What kind of corny name is that. We’re gonna re-brand it as the “Sea World Adventure Walk” – kinda neat don’t you think? We might need to ship in some trained Dolphins – will get back to you on this.
Check back tomorrow for Stage 2.
