A selection of news snippets garnered mainly from the South Coast Peruser. Submitted by Pappa Clip.
The Parish Council at Minor Splashpuddel have split over the question of the bunting displayed to commemorate the 1966 World Cup. (In case some readers have forgotten this is when we beat Germany at football)
Councillor Bernie Thick moved that, following FIFA’s rejection of our 2018 world cup bid, the bunting be summarily taken down and sent to the refuse salvaging department.
But most of his fellow councillors were opposed.
Half wanted to renew the bunting in order to show our defiance. (“It’s not the first time we’ve stood alone,” Councillor Plunkett reminded everyone), while others thought that in view of the current financial situation a thorough refurbishment of the existing display would suffice.
The chairpersonman decided the issue by declaring (applauded) that this country needed something to be proud about and that the Women’s Institute had expressed their willingness to help.
Overall disappointment
The Backing dancers hired to support rap star Very Chilly Water refused to perform last night in the more than usual skimpy outfits provided. Instead they protested by appearing on stage wearing coveralls.
Thus inadvertently revealing the star’s complete lack of talent. Even though he sported the very latest model of Ray-Ban shades.
For Better or Worse
Well known masochist Betty (smack me up) Doloursex announced her impending divorce from her husband of only a few weeks.
“The marriage was a disaster from the very beginning,” she told waiting reporters. “He promised me Better or Worse and all I got was Better. Even when I demanded a separation all he did was say oh, alright dear, if that’s what you want. Instead of giving me a round dozen on the bum.”
Image: Amanda Slater under CC BY 2.0
