Jonathan Dodd‘s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed
I had a sublime experience on Friday morning. When I woke up I could see that the rain had stopped and the skies had cleared (I can see clearly now the rain has stopped). My drive to Ryde and the Hovercraft was uneventful, the crossing calm and quiet, and the Portsmouth traffic lighter than usual because of the holidays (School’s out for summer!). OK, I admit I was only going to work, but it was a good start.
So there I was, driving up the M27 in the glorious sunshine (Good Day Sunshine!), and suddenly there on my phone, set to shuffle and plugged into the stereo, after the Goldfinger theme music finished, the opening sounds of Interstellar Overdrive by Pink Floyd started up.
Of course I did the only thing anyone could possibly do at such a moment, and turned the volume up to maximum. For the next few miles and minutes I was piloting a battered but trusty old starship through the celestial voids, everything else fell away, and my heart soared.
I turned to the shady side
People tell me that I’m relentlessly upbeat, and I wouldn’t dream of contradicting them, but it wasn’t always so. I don’t remember how I was as a child, but during adolescence I turned to the shady side, becoming somewhat downbeat and pessimistic. I used to think this was normal and realistic, because life was going to be disappointing however hard I tried (Born under a bad sign).
I think this is a fairly common way to be as adolescence grinds on. It’s a time of huge changes on all fronts, and people often settle into a set of attitudes during the maelstrom that they hardly change for the rest of their lives.
Making some changes
There are two downsides to this though. Covering yourself against possible future disappointment can become a very limiting thing (You’ve got to hide your love away). People also make the mistake of thinking that they’re fixed now and they can never change. But this isn’t necessarily true (It ain’t necessarily so). For instance, my so-called naturally sunny disposition is in fact manufactured. At some point in my life I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t happy being downbeat all the time and I wanted to be happy instead, so I set about making some changes.
It was hard work, but it’s been well worthwhile. I don’t know why I might have thought this was possible in the first place, but I could see that different people could go through similar types of day but end up with completely different attitudes to it. I noticed that all sorts of things happen to people every day, but if they’re expecting things to be dark, that’s what they’ll notice and look for (Is that all there is?). Conversely, if they’re expecting it to be pleasant, they’ll be on the lookout for positive things.
If it sounds simple, that’s because it is
I made up an experiment. I ignored any arguments about whether people were naturally depressive or sunny, and decided to learn to think like sunny-minded people for a while to see if it might stick. So I listened to the things I was saying, inside and outside, and whenever I thought I might be coming out with a negative thing, I instructed myself to find something positive to say instead (You’ve got to accentuate the positive).
If it sounds simple, that’s because it is. It took some time to change embedded habits, but after a while it became less of a struggle to find positives. Eventually it became a game, and then a habit, and now it feels quite natural (Just like a natural man). And there are so many gains. I found my mind opening up to so many new experiences.
My emotions started to wake up
Instead of refusing some foods because I would be bound to dislike them, I started thinking that some of them might actually be tasty, and funnily enough, that’s what happened. I stopped dismissing different kinds of music, with the expectation of maybe finding new things I liked, and that happened too. I stopped looking at the ground when I was out walking (Mr Blue Sky). And I started noticing the clouds, and all the views, and all those horizons.
Best of all, my emotions started to wake up, after laying low in the shadows for so long. I started having much more fun, and I liked that. And I realised I was becoming happy. So nowadays I’m always on the lookout for things that make me feel good, and it’s always surprising how many there are.
I feel good (I knew that I would now). While there are moments like these, I really know that I’m alive. And laughing.
If you have been, thank you for reading this.
Image: Matt McGee under CC BY 2.0
Image: Watt Dabney under CC BY 2.0
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Image: Sean B Jack under CC BY 2.0
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