Update: This article published before midday on 1st April was an April Fool.
VB have learned this morning that the Isle of Wight council (IWC) say they will listen to Islanders’ views, as soon they start doing what they’re told.
A mole within the communications team has admitted sections of the council can seek to confuse, but says it would happily operate more democratically, if Islanders would stop thinking for themselves, and pay closer attention to the expensive glossy brochures they print.
“Stop asking!”
In response to the complaint that some media sources on the Island have had trouble getting answers from the IWC to simple requests, “We just wish they’d stop asking,” the mole said.
“It’s almost as if they expect us to conform to the Freedom of Information Act. Frankly, we’re more interested in monitoring VentnorBlog for anything we consider libellous at present.
“We’re particularly irritated by hoax articles reliant on us having a sense of humour, or any information VB publish which might help Islanders work out what the heck’s going on.”
‘Blog’
The fact these revelations are being made on a non-council controlled ‘blog’, and not via more traditional printed news sources is particularly irksome.
Brian Redunderthebed, 103, of They Don’t Like It Up Them Close said. “It’s all so confusing. I’ve got a lovely glossy brochure free with my County Press telling me everything’s fine, so I can’t understand why anyone would suggest it isn’t.
“The other day someone on that Internet said using tax payer’s money to tell them tax payer’s money isn’t being wasted is an oxymoron. Communists”¦ how dare they! I’m not a moron! I’m 103!”
