Jonathan Dodd: Wishing and hoping

Jonathan Dodd‘s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed

Everybody thinks they know what they would do if they won the Lottery. When I was a boy my father did the Pools. That was the black-and-white version before the Government decided that the People could be trusted enough to have a Lottery.

I’m not sure what they were worried about. Presumably they thought Poor People would spend all their Dole Money on Lottery tickets, and die of starvation, along with their families. Or maybe it was the Church, their ever-open nostrils getting a whiff of innocent fun and imagining the smoke of Hellfire being behind it.

Spies and enemies and fifth-columnists
There were a lot of hindrances around back then to progress, either in Society or individually. Gay people ran the very real risk of imprisonment and ruin. Even Alan Turing, who practically won the Second World War and invented the modern computer, was hounded to an early death.

Apamea Fluted columns

There were few channels of expression for people with different views and beliefs to express themselves back then too. No independent channels on TV, everyone lived in the post-war shadow, and there was the Cold War and the fear of spies and enemies and fifth-columnists (not that I ever understood what that meant), and a general fear of anything different or just not normal (I never understood what normal meant either).

That place called ‘Up In The World’
One result of all this was that people grew up with small expectations and limited ambitions. My parents looked up to Professional People like Doctors and Solicitors and Bank Managers and Policemen with an almost-religious awe and fear. They always referred to these people in Capital Letters, and would never have dreamed of disagreeing with any of them.

Barrister outside Southwark Crown Court

The other side of this coin is that they were not unambitious at all, for themselves, but fiercely so for their children. They looked at the children of these privileged people, who went away to school and then university, and emerged with that golden glow of success, and they thought of it as a magic ticket to that place called ‘Up In The World’.

I am grateful
My parents worked hard and saved their money so they could send my brothers and then me to private schools, simply because they wanted us to have the opportunities they never had, and they believed that it was their duty to do so. Of course, being an innocent but rather stroppy child, I bitterly resented being sent away and not having any friends.

Outside Harrods in 1909

The lack of friends was inevitable then, because I didn’t go to the same school as all the other kids on my block, so I was obviously snooty. Disappearing for most of the time to live in a draughty old building and sleep in a dormitory didn’t help either. I didn’t appreciate any of it then. Now, I can say that I received a very good education, although limited, and I learned how to survive, and I am grateful.

A more normal family life
What my parents did was admirable in so many ways. It would be easy to suggest that I could have achieved the same level of success in the new Grammar Schools, or that all of us may have been happier and had more fun, or even that we might have had a more normal family life, but that would be wishful thinking. Such thoughts would miss the point of it all.

The Savage Family

The thing my parents did that was so important was that they dreamed of better things and then worked to make them happen. They set themselves to giving us those opportunities, rather than just wishing things worked differently, and they just gritted their teeth and got on with it.

The ‘Ladder of Desires’
I once drew up what I called the ‘Ladder of Desires’. It works like this. Take, for example the Lottery-Win scenario. Wondering wat you would do with all that money is free, and quite pleasurable. If you don’t actually buy a ticket, it’s also pointless. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless you forget that you need to play to win, and start becoming resentful about it.

Post office box

So buying a ticket is the first step on the Lottery-Winning Ladder. You have to remember that you’re still not likely to win, even if you climb up and up, and each step becomes harder and costs more, in time or effort or expense. And the same thing goes for any wish or desire you have. It’s not the winning that actually counts, it’s the commitment, and the desire.

Give up the day job
When I applied the idea to writing a novel it became quite daunting. I tried to put some numbers together. Perhaps 10% of the population might think about writing something. Possibly 10% of those might start something. Maybe 10% of those might actually finish a novel, and probably only 10% of the finishers would actually send the manuscript in.

child writing

10% of these manuscripts might be read by a publisher or agent, and 10% of those books would be published. 10% of published books might sell enough copies for the authors to give up the day job. Perhaps only 10% of those writers would become rich or famous.

Somewhere on the lower rungs
The odds of success aren’t very good. You can apply this to any group of people who want to do well. Actors, athletes, politicians, businesspersons, even X Factor hopefuls. If you want anything, you’re exposing yourself and taking a huge gamble. If you fail, many people around you will be merciless. But I did start writing, and here I am, somewhere on the lower rungs.

ladder

The thing you need to do is to be very sure of what you want, and to plan to make the best of your attempt. Above all, you need to be aware at all times that the important thing is not the prize at the end of the tunnel, but the journey you’re starting out on.

Nothing left to want or hope for
There’s an old saying about being careful what you pray for, because the thing you pray for might actually happen. It’s very dangerous to have an end-stop to your plans and then be too single-minded about going for it. Either you fail to reach it, and you become embittered, or you get there, and suddenly there’s nothing left to want or hope for. What would you do then?

george bush scratching his head It always amazes me how often people just walk into things without any thought at all. All those people auditioning for the X Factor, who have no talent or have never actually practised, and expect to become huge stars. The people who have to be rescued because they decide to climb a mountain wearing flip-flops or high heels and take no supplies or survival gear.

It can all seem just too difficult
On the other hand there are those who make a plan and stick to it religiously, becoming increasingly desperate and dogmatic when reality interferes. It all sounds hopeless, and there are also huge numbers out there who want to achieve things but never even start, because it can all seem just too difficult. I’m aware that I’m painting a lot of pictures here of failure and misery and self-delusion, but that’s not my message.

Lying on sand -

I have three things to say about this. The first thing is the amazing number of people who start out down a road towards achieving what they want, despite all evidence to the contrary. They do it because they need to. Something inside is telling them they have to go to the gym or spend all that money on equipment or save up money to buy that stamp or make speeches and attend endless meetings in the hope of getting elected one day.

A person they can respect, even if nobody else does
The second thing is that all these people know how hard it is, and how unlikely it is that they’ll get the result they would most like. They understand that there will probably be a moment of failure, or someone else will get that chance, or a deal will fall through. They know that the job may go to someone more qualified and better, or that it may go to the boss’s son, and he may be useless. But they persevere.

Perseverance Terrace

The third thing is the most important one. The trying is the success. The effort to make those calls, keep turning up, go faster, train harder, shake those hands, becomes the most important thing. Not only because the possibility of success is still alive, but because that person knows that they are doing their best, which makes them a person they can respect, even if nobody else does.

It’s never too late
So I salute every one of you out there who is striving for something. You know how hard it is, and you’re still going. How fantastic is that? There are lots of smug over-privileged privately-educated rich people out there, but what have they actually learned along the way? You, however, have enriched your lives and the lives of those around you more than they ever will.

Jeremy Corbyn in parliament