Some more satirical news items presented by Pappa Clip. Ed
The recently formed double act of Cameron And Clegg is apparently already in trouble, with Cameron announcing his disappointment at having to cancel plans to form a new comedy routine.
“The intention was twofold,” he explained. “One was to show the lighter side of politics – that we are only human, as it were. And the other was to play our part in raising money for charity by offering our services for various events. Our act was to be that well known one ‘We’re a couple of tramps’.”
“Unfortunately I could not persuade Nick Clegg to take the part of Judy Garland.”
Police were called to an area of Westminster today where they spoke to a man who had been frightening tourists by grimacing and glaring at them in what one witness described as a strange and terrifying manner.
“He made my children cry,” she said.
The man was let off with a caution after explaining he was Gordon Brown and that he had merely been practising his frank and open smile preparatory to making a political comeback
Royal pardon?
A junior member of the Royal Family has caused some consternation in court circles by refusing to become an officer in any of Her Majesty’s armed forces.
“I’m afraid I’m not cut out for it,” Prince Anthony Devonshire said today. “I know Uncle Charlie took only a fortnight to gain command of his own warship – despite taking time off to open things. And I know everyone else in the family, with perhaps one exception, has proven to be a natural commander of men. But not me. I don’t mind being a private or even a lance-jack. But no more than that. I simply haven’t got the brains.”
This unexpected attitude has thrown all concerned into something of a quandary.
“What have brains got to do with it?” a palace official demanded to know. “Are we suggesting that members of our principal aristocratic family are not necessarily fitted to lead the sturdy yeomen of England – bricklayers and carpenters and ditch diggers and such – into the maelstrom of battle? This could threaten the structure of – well – just about everything.”
(As a footnote, an echo of this dismay has come from abroad. “We deny they’re Germans or ever have been,” an honorary member of the Waffen SS Association announced.)
Image: CityLovesYou_ffm under CC BY 2.0
