Another satirical news item sent in by Pappa Clip. As always, you must judge for yourself. Ed
At the annual D-Day anniversary dinner recently G.I. veteran Al Schimdt shocked the assembled guests by declaring, during his speech that he had seen British troops in Normandy just a few days after the celebrated American landings at Omaha and their subsequent saving of the free world.
“I remember it as clear as if it was yesterday,” he said. “We were in the middle of saving France, Europe when the director told us to charge across this field and into a bunch of trees at the other end. So we did, with the cameramen and sound recorders following on behind as usual.
“But when we got to the trees we got the fright of our lives. There was a whole lot of soldiers already there – and they surely wasn’t ours.
“Lucky they wasn’t krauts either or we’d have bought it – seeing as we were too out of breath to do anything but lean against a tree and wish we’d brought some shells with us.
It’s the Brits
“They was British, I swear to God – soup plate helmets like we used to have before we got modern, and them funny itchy uniforms like no self respecting trooper would be seen dead in.”
“Hallo Yank”, one of them said “You got here then. Got John Wayne with you?”
“But then the director arrived, and he was in a right mood. “What’re you lot doing?” he shouted. “We’re trying to save the free world here and you lot are in the way!”
Fancy a brew?
“Alright mate, keep your hair on,” said this officer. “We’re just having a brew up then we’ll be on our way. Got to meet up with some Canadians, as it happens.”
“Canadians?” I said – I’d got a bit of breath back by then “You mean there’s Canadians here as well? What the hell are they doing here?”
“Well, at this moment in time,” says the Brit, “bearing the brunt of the fighting actually. Along with the Indians and some Poles.”
“Now I knew he was kidding. We had a bloke in our lot claimed to be a Chicka something or other. But the Brits never had no Red Indians, I knew that for a fact. And I didn’t know the Poles were on our side either, way they spoke.
“Anyway, they finished up their drink – tea it must have been, judging by the colour – and off they went.
“Never saw them again-nor Red Indians or Poles or Canadians or anyone else. We heard some hollering and banging afar of from time to time but that was all Didn’t see too much of jerry either. Seems he ran off soon as he got news we was coming.
“But they was there alright, those Limeys. Swear to God.I don’t know what they was doing but I saw them with my own eyes.”
Didn’t go down well
It must be reported that Mr Schimdt’s talk was not well received, some declaring he had gone a bit soft in the head, result of a war wound, incurred by falling out of a jeep whilst returning from 24 hour pass in Paris.
“We’ve all seen our share of Hollywood war films” one declared “And it’s a fact much of the footage for them was filmed in Europe at the time .. I don’t think any of us saw any Brits or Canadians in them. And as for Red Indians – well!”
Image: trekkyandy under CC BY 2.0
