Some more extracts from the London Midday Melange. Submitted by Pappa Clip. Ed
The Society of Clog Dancers, Whippet Breeders And Shin Kickers announced today it’s campaign to have clog dancing declared an Olympic sport.
‘It is, after all, a traditional English pastime,’ a spokespersonwoman pointed out. ‘If synchronised swimming, why not clog dancing? And for that matter, shin-kicking? Both can be quite beautiful as well as intensely competitive.’
Asked his views on the possible inclusion also of Morris Dancing and Highland Reels he was somewhat less enthusiastic.
‘You Southern Softies can please yourselves,’ he said. ‘All I can say is if blokes in flowery hats skipping around hitting one another with balloons on sticks is your idea of a sport I feel sorry for you. And as for a bunch of hairy wallies prancing about in skirts – well words fail me.’
Oddities for Oddie
There has apparently been some difficulty over the renewal of Bill Oddie’s contract with the BBC.
The Beeb want to reinforce the terms in order to make the birds the central focus of the programmmes. ‘Quite ridiculous,’ Oddie claims.
Jordan has announced she is tired of being portrayed as nothing but an air-head with oversized mammaries. Any future interviews, she insists, will have to concentrate on her talent.
Asked to comment, her agent just shrugged. ‘Don’t blame me,’ he said.
We hope you enjoyed today’s spoof submitted by Pappa Clip.
Image: Ragnar1984 under CC BY 2.0
