Daft Old Duffer: The Mystery Of Female Shopping

The frustrations of a shopping trip

In the days when I was young, single and devoted to the girl I was going to love forever (or for nearly six weeks as it happened), I was persuaded to accompany her on a shopping trip to Southampton.

Daft Old Duffer: The Mystery Of Female ShoppingThe object of the expedition was to buy that season’s must-have garment; a blouse I seem to remember. Or a cardigan, or maybe a skirt.

Any which way, to my delight she located the object of her desire in the very first department store we came to, there were racks of the things in fact, all looking to my eye exactly the same – except for a token few in altogether the wrong colour and which were there purely to be sneered at by all females in the know.

And there was a very presentable looking pub just a few doors up, I’d noticed.

Onwards and upwards?
It was not to be, of course. Having decided she had located the very thing she desired above all else in the world, my lady put it back on the rack and marched out of the store without a backward glance.

“But I thought you said it was just what you were looking for?”

“‘It was.”

“But …”

A look of womanly scorn

I tried a safer tack. “That’s a nice looking pub …”

“We haven’t got time. We’re supposed to be shopping, remember?”

Repetition, hesitation of deviation
During the next interminable stretch of time we visited every clothes shop and department store within long trudging distance. I don’t know many of them exist these days, but then there were – I don’t exaggerate – dozens.

And all displaying the exact same garment as in the first store. Exact in colour, shape, material and price.

After which I was led, too weary to argue, back to that first – entered store, where my lady triumphantly purchased the very first garment she had selected.

“That’s a nice looking …” I said.

“We haven’t got time. We’ll miss the ferry.”

I’m sorry ladies. We blokes just don’t understand.

Image: Rachel A Under CC BY 2.0

Opinion Piece

Saturday, 22nd May, 2010 10:25am


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3 Comments on "Daft Old Duffer: The Mystery Of Female Shopping"

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Sounds exactly like me when I’m clothes shopping..except the wife prefers a cafe to a pub.

You can’t just buy any bit of kit..especially if their are loads of them…you have to search out that one which just a little bit different (or have it made, which I do a lot)

James P

“We blokes just don’t understand”

Of course not. But would you want to..?

hazel wyld
Gentlemen let me try and explain. We may see the very thing we are looking for in the first shop but then again there may be a better one somewhere else cheaper, this of course means we must go on a determinded search of all possible outlets, we are trying to save money, then again we may find something we like even better! It all makes perfect… Read more »