Daft Old Duffer is back, this time with food on his mind. Ed
Let me tell you what happened when I tried out an up-country eatery a few months back.
The place was almost empty when I arrived. I sat at a table, decided what to order from the menu and waited for a waiter.
And waited, And waited.
After several minutes of being completely ignored I went to the counter. This time I got it right. It was counter service. So I placed my order and then hovered, again. Should I wait and collect my food or would it be delivered?
“Take a seat sir, we’ll call you when it’s ready.”
“Oh right, thank you.”
Then, as I turned away “Can you pay now sir, this isn’t a restaurant(?)”
So at least I was going to be spared from working out after my meal what method of paying was expected – whether at the counter or at the table.
Wrong again?
Recently I went into a burger bar. And knowing what to do in burger bars I went to the counter.
Wrong again. I was in a table service eaterie. How was I supposed to know? How is anyone supposed to know?
Many of you can, I think, confirm that this sort of awkwardness simply does not occur elsewhere in the world. Elsewhere you enter, are shown to a table and consult the menu. A raised eyebrow brings the waiter, you order and eat. Afterwards, when you are ready, another glance brings the bill, you pay and leave. End of.
Why so different in England?
Only in England are you expected to know the rules of the establishment before you are permitted to order. And if you don’t, you better learn quick.
For no-one is going to enlighten you. They’d much sooner watch you get up and leave again. After all, it’s your fault if you don’t know how to act in a restaurant.
That’s why people hover outside these establishments. They need to eat, they like the menu in the window, but they don’t particularly want to be made out as naive idiots. So they go home and eat there instead.
Or call into a McDonalds where there is no uncertainty. In McDonalds you queue. And we Brits know were we are with that.
