Local friendship group, Vecta Oddfellows, is encouraging retirees to stick with new groups long enough to feel a sense of belonging.
Experts say it can take around three months to develop a meaningful connection, so Vecta Oddfellows recommends retirees attend several events before deciding if a group is right for them.
With retirement often bringing major changes to daily routines and social circles, giving new friendships time to grow can help people feel part of a community again.
‘Natural to feel adrift’
Maretta Heap, Secretary at Vecta Oddfellows explained,
“We often think of retirement as gaining more freedom and time, but for some people it can also mean losing a sense of who they are and where they fit in. For decades, work can provide routine, purpose and a community of people around us.
“When that’s no longer there, it’s natural to feel adrift. Our friendship group gives people regular opportunities to meet others, share experiences and discover new interests. Most importantly, it helps people find a place where they feel welcome, valued and that they belong.”
The Oddfellows is a not-for-profit friendly society, with branches across the UK offering a varied programme of social events, talks, walks, outings and social activities designed to bring people together. Members can also volunteer, enjoy group holidays and receive wellbeing support if needed.
Maretta explained,
“What’s important is giving yourself time for friendships to develop naturally. If you are looking to expand your social life, then why not give us a go – try a few of our events and we’re confident you’ll soon start to feel part of the gang.”
The science of belonging
Evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin, who has been helping the local friendship group to understand the science behind human interactions, says regularly attending the same group over time is key to building meaningful connections, trust and familiarity.
Dr Machin said,
“Belonging isn’t something we find just once in life. As our circumstances change, our places of belonging can change too. Retirement offers the chance to discover new communities, new friendships and new aspects of yourself.”
Events to try
Vecta Oddfellows hosts regular member meetups across the Isle of Wight and anyone interested in trying the group is invited to the following events:
- Coffee Morning Ryde Library, first Wednesday of the month, 10:30am
- Darts at The Binstead Arms, third Friday of the month, 2pm
- Cards Afternoon Unity Hall, Newport, alternate Wednesdays, 1:30pm
A member’s experience
Local member Ray Harrington-Vail from Newport, joined the Oddfellows after retiring from a career in Environmental Charity Management.
Ray said,
“When I retired, I didn’t realise how much I’d miss being part of a group of people and having regular social contact. Joining the Oddfellows gave me more than things to do. It gave me friendships, a sense of belonging.”
The Oddfellows is also encouraging retirees to explore advice from Dr Machin, who recently shared her guidance on finding a sense of belonging in retirement in an article on the society’s website.
In it, she encourages people to spend time getting to know the “retired you”, give new groups a fair chance by attending regularly over several months, and focus on finding genuine connection rather than simply keeping busy.
Free webinar on belonging in retirement
Dr Machin will also be hosting a free public webinar on belonging in retirement on Tuesday 8th December 2026at 7pm.
She’ll share practical advice on navigating identity changes after work. People can register for the webinar via the Oddfellows’ website.
To find out more about Vecta Oddfellows’ upcoming activities and to receive a free local information pack and events diary, call Maretta or Rachel on 01983 523115 email [email protected], or visit the website.
News shared by Rachel on behalf of Vecta Oddfellows. Ed
