News OnTheWight always welcomes a Letter to the Editor to share with our readers – unsurprisingly they don’t always reflect the views of this publication. If you have something you’d like to share, get in touch and of course, your considered comments are welcome below.
This from Gerard Hawthorn, Shanklin. Ed
They say cometh the hour, cometh the man. Doesn’t little Britain’s policy on refugees make you proud?
Come to Britain, don’t come to Britain, come to Britain, don’t come to Britain. Wouldn’t you prefer to be nearer Ukraine? I tell you what, we’ll help you make that decision, here’s a 30 page visa form, in English, to fill in.
By the way Carrie, do we have any party food leftover? Carrie – ‘check the fridge yourself you lazy so and so!’ Phew! Result! That’s going to save us some spondulicks! Text Rishi to hold back on the £10 visa meal deals!
Off to Saudi to bag us some oil
Ok, I’m off to Saudi to bag us some oil. Note to self, only mention human rights if the Saudi’s bring it up.
What a great success, no oil and another three dead bodies on top of the 81 as a departing gesture, and I’ve sold them a windmill!
Next to Iran
Now let’s try Iran. Here’s your £400m back …… any oil by any chance? Text Liz. Get down to Heathrow pronto, there’s a great photo opportunity winging your way, this time with Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe as she meets up with her family after her six year ordeal. I Truss you to get in the picture Liz, don’t miss it, and try not to look like a lemon!
Operation Pants
What next? I know what will really bring Putin down, no more M&S knickers! What do you mean M&S are staying open for business in Moscow?
Don’t they know they are pivotal to my Churchillian plan, ‘Operation Pants’? Oh well, it’s been a long day, time for a nice bottle of Claret and an early night. Zzzzzzzzz
To be cont. (Well until we are rid of this joker)
Image: Mural by Irony, photographed by locosteve under CC BY 2.0
