News Flash: Cheetah Marine Change Plans

Surprise abounds this morning. Sean Sterevens has been in touch and told VentnorBlog, “We realise that there might be one or two people in town (at the very most) who don’t think that our current plans are a good idea, so we’ve been having a good think this morning and have come to the decision to withdraw our current plans to develop the Eastern Esplanade and replace it with another. We know we’ve been through lots of applications already, so another one doesn’t seem unreasonable.”

Drawing by AlphaHe continued, “Ventnor has been good to us, so we’d like to give something back to the town. There’s too many people around here who are just trying to wring all they can out of Ventnor, without balancing it with community-minded ideas.”

We’ve learnt that to this end, they’re going to raise the boat building factory up on stilts, to continue to provide parking. On top of the building, they’re funding the construction of a raised football pitch for the town’s nippers.

Mr Strevens concluded, “We don’t want to impact the town by taking away the parking that is so vital to the economy of the small businesses at the Esplanade and we know that the town would benefit from the pitch. Everyone gains with this one.”

To stick with the marine theme, they’ve decided to use one of the car parking spaces as an aquarium, to give visitors to Ventnor an additional reason to come to the town. [Rendition of development as drawn by a budding young Ventnor architect, Alpha Grace]

PS. As much as some people might like to think this article is true, you’ll see it was published before noon on 1st April 2007 by author, April F. Ool. Hence it is NOT true.

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