An extract from Parliamentary Perambulations. Submitted by Pappa Clip. Ed
A plan by the Prime Minister, David Cameron, to further present himself as a man of the people was put on hold today.
He had wanted to demonstrate his skill at the rap genre by making a video along with Ms Cheryl Cole, the well known singer.
“It would have followed a conventional format,” a spokespersonman for the Home Office explained.
“Ms Cole would have flung her rather delightful legs around in the usual fashion, emitting some sort of reedy vocals, then The Prime Minister would have taken centre stage and performed some rap, composed by himself and based somewhat loosely on the Eton Boating Song.
“Unfortunately when the two performers met, they found they could not understand one another and the discussion ended before it could begin.”
Asked for her reaction later Ms Cole said – ”Awa’ hinny Geordie mon,’e were a canny lad reet enuff bot I divn’a oonderstand a wurd ‘e wor saying like.”
“Quite extraordinary,” the Prime Minister commented.
A bonus extract
A group of Tory backbenchers are in an uproar after discovering that proportional representation does not mean that only a proportion of the population have the right to vote.
“I assumed it was a return to the good old days when only gentlemen landowners had a say, and the council estate hobbledehoys were kept in their place.” Lord Barren complained
“Damned computers. Should never have been allowed!” Sir Astuteless added.
(Don’t forget to take all Pappa Clip’s entries with a pinch of salt).
