Jonathan Dodd: Have courage, and be kind

Jonathan Dodd‘s latest column. Guest opinion articles do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. Ed

I was listening to the radio the other day, and I was delighted to hear Kenneth Branagh talking about his latest film as a director, Cinderella. He sounds like a really nice chap, and has an infectious chuckle. The sort of person you would like to know. Lots of people in the media want to appear to be lovable, but it’s a difficult thing to pull off unless that’s what you’re actually like.

Actors, of course, are supposed to be able to switch between lovable and hateful, or any combination of the above, while they’re doing their job. I have no idea how much, or how well, they can act when they’re being interviewed, because they’re essentially playing themselves, or a version of themselves that they want you to believe in. In other words, they might have to become salespersons, which is a different job than plain acting, although probably in the same ballpark.

I have some form in this area myself
Anyway, I totally believed in the version of himself that Ken gave me in the car while I drove and listened. I’d like to believe that I have some form in this area myself, partly because I’ve always been interested in people and what sort of ticking they make, and partly because of my NLP (see previous and future columns). And I also have a bit of a shameful secret in terms of selling myself.

Business men shaking hands:

That doesn’t sound so good, so I’d better elaborate. I’ve worked as a contractor for many years now. This involves selling my services for chunks of time at different companies. Sending out my CV and looking for jobs takes up quite a lot of my time whenever one job finishes, or I won’t have another job to go to. I end up doing a lot of interviews. When I started out I got to be very good at interview technique. After a while, it became obvious to me when someone asked me a question what the answer was that they wanted to hear, and I became very good at answering in such a way that he or she would be pleased, and I had a very good hit rate in terms of job offers.

Too good to be true!
Then a day came when I was being interviewed and I was going through the same routine when I noticed suddenly that the interviewer’s attitude changed completely. It was as if a shutter had clanged closed behind his eyes. I had two thoughts in quick succession – ‘He thinks I’m too good to be true!’- and – ‘He’s right!’ Needless to say, I wasn’t offered the job, and a period of soul-searching followed.

Facepalm

I realised that my so-called interview skills were all about projecting back to them the person they wanted to employ. After being offered the job, the version of me they wanted was supposed to turn up to work, and keep up the pretence for at least three months. Or I would turn up in the place of the version of me that they had offered the job to, and that wouldn’t be fair. I didn’t feel good about that.

The original WYSIWYG interviewee
So the answer to all this was obvious. The next interview I went to, I was just myself. No preparation, no clever-clever answers, I said I didn’t know rather than bluffing it out, and I tried to behave and talk normally and to be as honest as I could. And they offered me the job. Over the next few interviews I carried on with this plan, and was surprised and gratified to find that my hit rate was unchanged. I became the original WYSIWYG interviewee (What You See Is What You Get, for people not familiar with Computerese). And life has been so much easier and happier since.

Alfred Neuman Why Worry Poster :

I now know that people who offer me jobs are doing so on the full understanding that I’m the person who’s going to turn up on the first day, and presumably they’re happy about that. I was very glad to jettison all that claptrap, and it made a resounding crashing noise when I chucked it out of the window. It also means I don’t have to do all that stress-and-tension-prevention thing before going into the den of lions. Such a relief! I’m all for a stress-free life and spending as much time as possible just being myself. That’s hard enough without trying to be someone else some of the time.

You must have courage, and be kind!
Anyway, I was listening to Ken being interviewed whilst driving home in the sunshine, and he was talking about Cinderella. He was explaining how this version differed to previous ones. I don’t think I’m giving away any spoilers here when I say that he wanted girls watching the film to go away with the message that – ‘You must have courage, and be kind!’ I’ve been struggling with that idea ever since. Is this a strong enough motto to carry with you as your shield in the struggle with everything that Life throws at you? I really don’t know.

D-Day landings

As a man, I immediately think of extreme situations. Like all I could think of when I watched Saving Private Ryan was – ‘How would I have managed if I’d been there on D-Day?’ A question to which I have no answer, which is a humbling thought. I tend towards the – ‘That’s a really good idea, until something serious happens’ – school of thought, and I think of warfare, street fights, and disasters of all kinds. But there’s not much in the way of actions or weaponry that would be effective in those situations, so maybe having courage and being kind would work just as well as anything else.

Maybe that’s what the courage is for
I think a woman would understand this so much better than me, and do better than I would in most difficult situations. And I’m just remembering one of those jobs where I worked with someone who was unintentionally infuriating. After a couple of difficult conversations where the differences between our methods of working and abilities to explain were exposed jaggedly, I decided I should be nice and stop judging him. And amazingly, we got on fine after that.

Be Kind do your best message: