“I never thought I would be the kind of person to try and kill myself.”
Mark Langford, 44, considers himself a lucky man. He has a wife, two daughters, and a job he loves. But six years ago it was a different story.
Langford: “I could not deal with my demons”
Addicted to drugs and alcohol, and having lost both his sister and two close male friends to suicide in the space of five years, Mark felt he had no option but to take his own life.
He said:
“I could not deal with my demons and the darkness began to overwhelm me.
“My first attempt I walked to the end of the pier, but the tide was out. So I went home, took an overdose and set a fire in my caravan.”
GP alerted ambulance
Luckily for Mark, a GP called to let him know his medication was ready for collection. Although he doesn’t remember the call, he learnt later he had told the doctor:
“I won’t need it because I won’t be here.”
The doctor immediately called for an ambulance, who took Mark to hospital.
GP saved my life
Mark said:
“I never found out who that GP was, but one day I’d like to thank him. He saved my life.”
After spending four weeks in Sevenacres, Mark said he returned home feeling stronger but soon slipped back into his old habits.
Heroin overdose
Feeling desperate, he took a heroin overdose.
Mark said,
“The amount should have killed me, and I don’t know why it didn’t. I can only say that it wasn’t my time.”
Langford: “Reached rock bottom and wanted help”
It was on 1st May 2013, that Mark decided to turn his life around.
He said:
“I decided I had reached rock bottom and I wanted help.”
Mark spent 15 months living in supported accommodation at Butler Gardens, where he learnt coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness.
Support worker at new wellbeing service
He now has a job as a support worker at the IW NHS Trust’s new wellbeing service.
Suicide affects more men than women, with male suicides accounting for around three quarters of all deaths nationally.
Between 2015-16 there were 41 male suicides on the IW — fewer than 50 the previous year, but still higher than the national average.
Higher than national average
In 2017, there were 10.9 male suicides per 100,000 people on the Island, compared with a national average of 9.6.Mark said:
“People need to talk about it. If we clam up when someone starts talking about suicide, they are going to think they shouldn’t talk about it.
“This is especially for men. I never wanted to talk it through, and I think men think no-one will take them seriously.
“I can’t blame it on my parents or my upbringing. I wanted for nothing. But I began to dabble in drugs and then I just took it too far.
“I dug myself into a hole I couldn’t get out of.
“Now I’m a family man, I’m married, I go to the gym, have a job — I have a purpose.
“I want people to hear my story and realise there is hope.”
“Please seek help if you need it”
The mother of a young man who took his own life has pleaded with people to seek help if they need it.
Sara Plowman said the death of her son, Jamie, was utterly heartbreaking, and the worst thing that could happen to a parent.
Jamie was just 20 when he hanged himself in April last year.
Struggled to access mental health support
An inquest into his death heard Jamie had struggled to access the mental health support he needed.
Sara said she hoped others would learn from his son’s death.
“I would like people who are feeling suicidal to take time to think of the heart-breaking ripple effect their devastating action would have on their families and friends, from which they would never recover, and to consider alternative ways of getting the help they so desperately need.
“Death isn’t a solution.
“I believe there is some help out there but it needs to be much more widely advertised so young people are aware.
“Schools also need to raise awareness and offer considerably more help than they currently appear to.
“There needs to be less stigma attached to mental health issues generally which might help young people in distress talk more openly about what is troubling them so much.
“In my experience, the waiting period for talking therapy was nearly a year.
“This situation is outrageously inadequate.”
The following organisations offer free and confidential support over the phone:
- Samaritans —116 123 24 hour support, every day of the year www.samaritans.org
- Papyrus — 0800 068 41 41 Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 10pm or Text 0778 620 9697 – prevention of young suicide www.papyrus-uk.org
- Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) — 0800 58 58 58, 5pm – midnight. Dedicated to preventing male suicide www.thecalmzone.net
This article is from the BBC’s LDRS (Local Democracy Reporter Service) scheme, which OnTheWight is taking part in. Some alterations and additions may be been made by OnTheWight. Ed Image: dakohuang under CC BY 2.0
