An extract from ‘Parliamentary Perambulations’. Submitted by Pappa Clip. Ed
Increasing concern is being expressed both in the City of London and in Parliament over the wave of democracy swamping the Middle East and Africa, and the high number of exiled ex-dictators, which must inevitably follow.
“Many – indeed most – of these gentlemen are well known to us,” a prominent civil servant pointed out. “This country has enjoyed a considerable amount of business dealings with them in the past, both privately and in conjunction with HM Government. Indeed, in many cases firm friendships have been formed, some lasting for years. Many of us have shared family holidays and enjoyed family celebrations together. So we are naturally concerned as to their future prospects.
“Fortunately most will have secured ample pension funds for themselves. But we anticipate they will find themselves barred from those countries where they possess fall-back homes. We are thinking therefore of offering them a chance to acquire homes here in the United Kingdom. Returning if you will, the ample hospitality they have shown us, from Royalty and prominent political figures down to some quite humble business entrepreneurs.
“The Isle of Wight has been suggested. You can find it on most decent atlases – be careful not to confuse it with the Isle of Man. It lies somewhere off the southern end of the United Kingdom and consists, so I’m led to believe, principally of compacted sand. This fact alone will perhaps allow our guests to feel more at home. The usually temperate climate one associates with the southern extremes should present itself as pleasantly cool in the summer.
“Obviously winters will continue to be passed in the usual fashionable resorts in the Mediterranean region. I understand there is ample space on the island – one of our largest if not our best known – for anyone wishing to purchase land and construct the type of dwelling they are accustomed to. Whether a conventional palace-like structure, a series of interlinked caves (easily formed in the Island’s central spine) or some form of opulent tent”¦ Whatever.
“There are already two airfields, both capable of development or, should the gentlemen concerned prefer something more private, that same high central spine would lend itself admirably to the layout of a private strip, easily capable of handling jetliners. Of course only members of immediate family will be allowed to settle here, so there will be numerous opportunities for the local populace to gain quite high paid employment both in building work, providing services and forming the necessary servant class.
“All in all it seems obvious our plan will significantly increase the level of prosperity in this somewhat backward region whilst at the same time solving a somewhat knotty international problem. And incidentally bringing much needed capital investment to the Country as a whole.”
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