Here is another satirical news item submitted by Pappa Clip. As usual we have been unable to verify this report so you will need to judge for yourselves. Ed
It is officially confirmed today that Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister, will shortly sign on for a course in what has been described as ‘Etonthink’.
“It is generally accepted by members of all political parties – conservative, liberal-democrat or labour – that a public school education far outweighs any other life experience – such as learning a trade or following some ‘practical’ profession or other.”
It’s all a question of mind-set
Nick Clegg explained “But in our present-day highly competitive world it must be the right sort of public school. I have always been aware that my own educational background – Westminster School – although perfectly respectable is somewhat less desirable than a top school such as Eton.
“It’s all a question of mind-set, When hearing the phrase ‘estate’, for example, one should envisage not rows of houses fronted by discarded sofas and burnt-out cars, but acres of grass, some trees and ponds, with animals such as deer and peacocks strolling about. And when discussing fox hunting, the word ‘pest’ should conjure up not the charming little chappy in his russet coat, gaily laughing as he leads the hounds on a jolly cross-country chase, but hunt saboteurs with their foreign, communistic attitudes.
“And I’m afraid it is not enough that one’s father, or even grandfather, actually followed, however briefly in his life a calling that left him with grease beneath his fingernails. That sort of background simply means that one ends up entirely unsuitable for any of those top sleeping directors jobs we all hanker after.
“For that reason – and of course to render me more capable of playing my part in leading this great nation, – I have signed on for this course. It may not be the complete answer but at least I am doing my best. No man can do more.”
