Thursday 2nd November 2023 marks 27 years since Isle of Wight teenager, Damien Nettles, went missing in mysterious circumstances after a night out with a friend in Cowes.
Damien would have been 43 this year and in spite of the many police investigations (which included complaints about police conduct to the IPCC), public appeals, petitions, arrests, offers of rewards, a podcast series, a BBC TV mini-series, a dig-site and more, his family are still left not knowing what happened to their much-loved and missed son and brother.
Nettles: Still hopeful of finality
On the 27th anniversary of her son’s disappearance, Valerie Nettles told News OnTheWight,
“We are still hopeful one day we will have some finality to this case. In the meantime that’s a dream.
“The reality is we live in this world of missing persons, surrounded by families like ours waiting for answers.
“Suffering ambiguous loss as they live a life not fully engaged in the present, but lost in the past.”
Background
16-year-old Damien went missing on 2nd November 1996 after a night out in Cowes. Tragically, he has never been found.
Since his disappearance, Damien’s mother, Valerie, has worked tirelessly with family and friends to keep search efforts for her son alive.
Advocate for other families of missing children
In more recent years, Val has used her heartbreak to advocate for other families of missing children and young people.
In 2019, Val published the book The Boy Who Disappeared in which she tells her account of Damien’s disappearance. Reflecting on her motivation behind writing her story, Valerie told Missing People,
“It’s about standing up for my missing son and much more.”
Ambiguous loss
Valerie’s reference to ‘ambiguous loss‘ in her quote to News OnTheWight comes from the book of the same title by Pauline Boss.
In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness.
Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on.
Our thoughts are with Damien’s family and friends on this 27th anniversary. Many Islanders agree that those who know what happened should come forward and allow the family to find a place of peace and closure.
